Introverts, Be Proud — Kendra Patterson

I’ve noticed something interesting in the midst of the social distancing required by the coronavirus pandemic. My introverted friends are suddenly much more active on Facebook, posting about resources, spreading positive messages, and proffering solidarity. My more extroverted friends, the ones who usually clutter up my feed, are…fascinatingly silent. It’s almost as if introverts, with our more attuned sensitivities and ability to enjoy periods of isolation, are uniquely suited to this unprecedented situation (hint: we are).

I’ve been pondering something that’s often occurred to me over the last few years. In a world in which we are already socially isolated for so many reasons, and with the growth of home-based personal internet businesses in the last decade, are introverts finally having their day?

When I was growing up, being shy and introverted was not considered cool. I felt like a pariah among my peers. My friends were the other geeks and nerds. Most of us got bullied eventually, some of us horrifically. I can’t tell you how much I prayed that my shyness would be taken away (I didn’t know the difference between shyness and introversion back then). My profound socially awkwardness meant that I was under constant stress. Group activities of any kind at school were a nightmare. I was often very, very unhappy. Weekends were spent shut up in my room, reading and working on crafts. And during those long stretches of time alone, I felt happy. Very, very happy.

My life is little changed by social distancing during this pandemic. I already work from home, I take daily walks with my dog but otherwise don’t go out much, and most of my friends are text message buddies. Even my writing group meets online! All those personality traits other kids made fun of are now a benefit.

Then, today this popped up on Facebook: “Introverts, check in on your extroverted friends; they’re probably really suffering right now!” And you know what? I didn’t really believe it - because come on, being home all the time isn’t that hard, is it? I did an experiment: I posted about how I feel that I’ve been training my whole life to survive this enforced social distancing. An extroverted acquaintance replied, “I’m the opposite. It’s going to kill me.”

It’s not going to kill him (and hopefully the virus won’t, either), but wow. I can’t imagine finding social distancing that hard! But here’s the thing - extroverts can’t imagine how hard introverts find daily life in a society that favors extroverted personalities. We have to work harder for everything. Now it’s the extroverts who are going to have to work harder to adapt. I told him I know he’ll make it through - but he may have to find some creative solutions to his cabin fever. And he may find he’s more exhausted than usual, not at the top of his game - the way introverts often feel when we have to go out into the world and extrovert.

In the meantime, I’m doing pretty well, at least with the social distancing part. In fact, despite all the fear and uncertainty, I feel strangely confident, given the circumstances. And I was thinking: us introverts should start being proud of who we are. We are like the new cool kids in town - we have skills and resources that will help us endure and thrive in this new reality. I think it’s time we start saying – Out loud! To other people! – that we are glad we are introverts, that it does not make us the “second-bests” of society. We are not less useful than extroverts - in fact, quite possibly the opposite is true. We have a chance to shine in this new era – during this pandemic and beyond.